(This is a kickass guest post by Razwana Wahid.)
It wasn’t going to be easy. That much I knew.
Every core of my being was telling me this was the right decision.
And so I went ahead and told them.
No tears. No backtracking. And no signs of weakness.
I sat negotiated with 7 members of my family. For about 3 months straight. And I gave them my argument—that no matter how they pleaded, and what desperate reasoning they threw my way, I would be getting a divorce from the guy they’d arranged my marriage to.
It hadn’t been a case of tie-her-to-a-chair-and-gag-her-until-she-says-yes type of arranged marriage. I’d consented. I’d gone into the relationship with both eyes and mind open. It had been one helluva wedding.
But after 2 years of trying to figure out exactly what goes on inside his head, while simultaneously hitting mine against a wall? It was time to call it quits.
A life of marital misery wasn’t for me.
But this post today isn’t just about quitting the things that make you pass-the-vodka-and-make-it-neat miserable. It isn’t just about refusing to tolerate a toxic relationship. It’s about looking at why you’re saying no… and what will make you say HELL YES. (Tweet!)
It’s about getting to know yourself, one action at a time. It’s about saying goodbye to dreaming.
Because when you stop dreaming, you start living. And when we start really living? Incredibly awesome things start to happen (which may or may not include unicorns. I’ll get back to you on that part).
For me, quitting my marriage at the age of 23 was the start of more than a new proverbial life chapter.
It was the first time I’d recognized that the reason why I was so miserable was less to do with the marriage I’d agreed to, and more to do with the fact that my biggest value—freedom—was being rudely ignored.
But no more.
Quitting the marriage meant I eventually moved out of my home town in the north of England, and went to live in London (The streets there are paved with gold, you guys, Dick Whittington wasn’t a liar).
And that move to London? Paved the way to picture-perfect Paris. Which is where I live now. This isn’t where the story ends. It’s just the beginning. The mindset shift I made back in my early 20s laid the rock-solid foundation for the principle to live the rest of my life by.
And that principle?
Is stop dreaming about the what if… and start living with why not?
Why not… ask that guy out on a date? Dating rules are made to be broken, too.
Why not… start a side business that will eventually help you quit your job?
Why not… rebuild your entire site and start a new campaign? The world’s stories need to be shared.
And the last part? Is where you come in. Because this week marks the start of a monumental campaign.
A campaign to expose every story you have of when you decided to challenge yourself and do something different. What change did you create, big or small? What did you learn about yourself? And, more importantly, what are you going to do next?
Share your story with us, right here in the comments.
And if you’re feeling like sharing some more, join the campaign. We want you on our team. It would be an honor to have you.
Razwana Wahid is the founder of Your Work is Your Life, a copywriting and online business strategy service dedicated to coaches, consultants, healers and service providers. The “what if… why not?” movement has started. Are you in? Join us. Right here.
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